Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

More IMBA

The latest three finalists for the Bell Bummer grants came in, and as usual they're all asking to burn 100,000 small frosties or 20,000 five dollar footlongs worth of currency to build an atrocity of a trail.

http://www.vitalmtb.com/news/press-release/Bell-Built-Finalists-Announced-Watch-and-Vote-Inside,1172



I didn't even have to watch this video to arrive at the predictable tragicomedic oxymoron:





Bellingham

People from Bellingham are basically Canadians. 

Monday, May 25, 2015

West Virginia

TEAM ROBOT is at Snowshoe this week, TRAINING. SO. HARD. for the Mountain Creek ProGRT. Due to ROBOT's level of focus (and also due to Snowshoe's total lack of cell service and wifi) not too many updates to come. Also Ben separated his AC joint yesterday riding the National track at Snowshoe, needs surgery, and is going to miss NJ and Angel Fire.


With a 6-8 healing time, pretty much he'll be back just in time to race the National track at Snowshoe.




In the meantime while I proceed to never update, here's what you all came here to see: random video gold from the corners of the internet, aka Galen Carter and Demetri TrianFlo-Rida dicking around at their home trails. Sure this video sucks, but if your choice is to watch some tank top canadians' horrible freeride flick videos on Pinkbike's "Movies for your Monday" or watch two first year/wet behind the ears pro downhillers ride better than you in Hawaiian shirts and train hard for midpack results, the choice is easy:



And a little free advice to D and Galen: I'm happy you're having fun but if you ever want to make it in downhill you need to forget about that fun thing and start eating salads and riding your road or XC bike all day. And remember: juicing is good all day, but smoothies are only for post-ride. There's a lot of calories hiding in smoothies. You think vanilla ice cream is what champions eat?


Here's a free link to some dieting tips for upcoming pro racers, courtesy of the ROBOT:

http://kidshealth.org/teen/food_fitness/problems/eat_disorder.html


Monday, May 18, 2015

Perfection

I'll be on the road soon, and I wanted to check out a place in Maryland I'd heard about to ride downhill. Apparently some has been/never was photographer used to live out there and it's "SO SICK" just like everyone says their local spot is. Didn't believe it myself until I saw this solid two minutes thirty six seconds of shred your face off downhill destruction no survivors explosion of perfection:



Watch it the whole way through, and then try to pick a favorite part. That's right, you can't. They're all good. No, scratch that, they're all perfect. The fifteen second sky sequence to start things off? The silent, pensive walk up the hill at :46? Hammering towards the camera at :54? The out of his mind drift at :59? The sick double at 1:44?

It's like this video is the blueprint for MTB media. It's the Rosetta stone. Some say perfection is unattainable, and we should settle for goals less lofty, but behold, perfection is here. What  "Iron Horse in SoCal" was for the mountain bike world in 2004, that's what Todd has done for the entire worldwide media landscape in his self-filmed magnum opus. And to think this was published in 2012, undiscovered until today, like gold waiting to be extracted from the living rock. This is the new measuring stick. Is there any need in you left unfulfilled after watching this video? It's like he answered the questions I didn't even know to ask. I feel like I understand not just life better, but the interconnectedness of the whole universe more after watching Todd's work.

If you can't hire Todd to make your next video at least send an envoy to seek his counsel, and equip them with gifts of virgin blood, rare stones, and Marzocchi 38mm seal kits. Seek his counsel and reap the rewards as your enemies weep and bow before you.

Video nerds, Todd is your new king.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Somehow


Aaron Chase still making videos. Please make it stop.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Thursday, May 14, 2015

A thought

Makes for a great photo, but he probably would be hooking up in this turn if he wasn't riding Marzocchi.

BUT IT'S SO SUPPLE, THAT MEANS IT'S FAST!!!!!!

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Goggles and a half lid


I didn't get the memo and I still don't know what this is all about, but apparently this is the worst fashion travesty in the known universe. My only question would be: compared to what?



Is this supposed to be better?





As soon as you:

A) put on a half lid, and
B) need any form of eye protection whatsoever

you've entered a lose/lose situation. Try as you may, you're going to end up looking like some combination of a spaceman, Larry at the shooting range, and(or) a small child that rides the short bus to school.

You could say "just stop racing enduro," but c'mon people, we gotta pay the bills and keep the lights on around here at ROBOT HQ. Sacrifices must be made.